Love becomes conditional when a person does not speak or act the way that
you want them too. Love becomes conditional when they do not do as you
want, so you use types of punishment to corral their speach and behavior.
They criticize and judge for what they think we are doing wrong. If they
disagree with us and/or our life choices, they are not worthy of your love.
Love becomes imposing, depending on, or containing a condition. can be
suffocating, insecurity and fear of loss, draining, imposes dutifulnes, not
absolute, related to the performance of the other, controlls behavior, keeps
you jumping through hoops, reduces your self-worth, a trigger for perfectionism,
is never quite good enough, means imitation love. Becoming where it has to be
earned. Some conditions apply, for this love to remain. Is "expecting them to be,
act a certain way, with "conditions". Can leave doubts as to whether someone loves
you 100% with all there heart.
All of this means imitation love. That includes: praise, safety, power and
pleasure. These things will never make you feel fulfilled. In the absence
of real unconditional love they are using imitation love in order to eliminate
the painful emptiness and fear within.
Is used to control another's behavior. Can make us feel that, no matter how
hard we try, we can't really get through to or connect to the other person.
Comes with a set of "rules" that determine whether you are worthy of receiving it.
When "love" is conditional.....everyone misses out on the true essence of "Love".
Conditional love makes a person feel like they unworthy, worthless, a failure,
a dumbass, stupid, unlovable, undesirable, imperfect, unwanted, unteachable,
can't do anything right, can't say anything right, always wrong, extremely lacking,
deserves to be punished, can't learn, never measuring up, a dissapointment,
uninteresting. Along with every other negative feeling there is.
I have had this type of "love". I refuse to have "conditional love" or as I
term it "fake love" if I can help it..